All I Really Need To Know I Learned...on Facebook

Several movements are born of simplicity. Take for instance, The Secret, a book based on the timeless advice and sage wisdom of the Law of Attraction. Essentially, what you give is what you get. Advice books such Chicken Soup for the Soul and All I Really Need to Know, I Learned in Kindergarden really hit the whole "K-I-S-S" principle home (Keep It Simple, Stupid) in the business of self-improvement.

Facebook is neither an advice book nor self-improvement manual (discuss!), but it is a growing phenomenon that everyone is "doing." In the '70s, people were "ESTing." Perhaps you had a Tony Robbins cassette tape in your boom box in the '80s. You get my drift, I'm sure. If there's a mob mentality for something, you can talk in colloquialisms and everyone will get what you mean. The terms "Friending" and "Delete" and "Posts" are so commonplace, that even the rare bird who doesn't have a Facebook account (like my mom) will understand what you mean.

Yet one that resonated with me on life lessons was the whole All I Really Need To Know idea. When we were in kindergarden, life was so uncomplicated. We understood the value of a good nap and playtime, tapping into our creativity and taking a snack break (especially on someone's birthday, when their mom would make cupcakes for the classroom).

Facebook is a great social experiment for sure, and human behavior qualities really are amplified in this setting. It goes without saying (so I'll say it anyway) that individuals act much different in social settings, or conversely, their "real" behavior is amplified.

So I figured, what am I learning from Facebook that I haven't already learned in my 30+ years of breathing in oxygen, while exhaling carbon dioxide? Actually, nothing I haven't already figured out myself in the "real" world. So in essence, everything I need to know about human nature, I learned by living, but it's also validated on Facebook.

All I Really Need To Know I Learned on Facebook insights:

• Crowd Mentality is a Persuasive Tool

In my freshman year in college, I took two classes: one on sociology and the other on political change and revolution. The two subjects are not entirely different, as both are driven largely by social behavior. In the 1960s, college campuses around the country took part in what was labeled the "counterculture" and started grassroots campaigns to drive social change. That's essentially what Facebook is, but on a virtual and electronic level.

Dee and I are baseball chicks, as an example. We met for our shared interests (namely, our common team) and managed to respect each others opinions on said team while appreciating the differences or even when we've agreed.

Others...not so much. Someone says "My team sucks!" and normally one won't disagree as to not disrupt the balance. Then you try to reason with people, but they are not reasonable people. Hell, they are not even LOGICAL! Generally if people are logical, you can understand that one cannot reason with them, but these are neither that, this or the other.

This can cause fights, strife and competition within the little virtual world you've created. In fact, I've called some "fights" on Facebook (which are truly silly and ridiculous...all you can do is point and laugh at some folks at how seriously they take themselves) political -- it's like liberals and conservatives fighting across the aisle in Congress. Then by the power of persuasion, people will side with one group, and others flock to the other side.

It's human nature, really.

• A Hoarder is a Hoarder is a Hoarder

There is a show on the A&E channel called "Hoarders." I've actually never seen an episode but we all know someone, probably close to us, who could be labeled as such. My grandmother, bless her heart, had a little problem with the Shop Rite can-can sale that was legendary in my family. She'd go out and by like 5 cases of creamed corn. Why? "Because you nevah know when you might need creamed corn."

Well, maybe she had a point, but she'd end up stockpiling enough stuff in her basement to have Cher and cockroaches survive through nuclear holocaust. My point is, there is a LOT of hoarder mentality in Facebook. Like "How many friends do YOU have?" or "How many followers does your 'fan page' have?" Which is another ridiculous item that goes in line with my first point about "crowd mentality." (and yes, please "like" our fan page when you have a chance)

Dee and I go through regular Facebook "cleanses." I think that at one point I had about 500 "friends" on Facebook but I rarely interacted with more than maybe 1/5, potentially 1/4 of the total population. Did I really need to be "friends" with every single person who shared the love of my favorite baseball team, or someone who met me through a "mutual friend?" It depends. Some people want me to play "Mafia Wars" or "FarmVille" with them. Nah, no thanks. Others want to meet up in cities where my team plays or follows/likes my writing. Most of the time, I interact with these people on a face-to-face level. I decided that I had to pare my list because I realized another point below that it's "quality and not quantity" when it comes to one's existence on Facebook.

• Blood Is Thicker Than Water...I Guess
  

This can apply to people you work with or for family. My point is, whoever said you should keep you personal life separate from your professional life was dead on. You can potentially add family to that mix.

It's a cliche to say "You are unique...just like everyone else," but everyone has some kind of homogeneous quality that adheres them to a certain social group. We are however connected to family due to blood lines, and to work folks by a certain umbrella. Either way, my feeling is that on Facebook we are the closest version to our purest selves. Therefore, if you are a vampira blood sucker who shoots boar for sport, chances are you don't want your family or coworkers to know about it. Or maybe you do? Who knows? My point is, there's always a face you present on certain forums. Chances are, you may want to limit your coworkers to exposure on LinkedIn, and your blood sucking vampira club to IWantToSuckYourBlood.com. Not that I would know anything about that. Moving right along...

• It's Quality not Quantity

I have a tight circle of friends, some interact with each other, some do not. That's cool. Most of the time, I have a few people I hang out with regularly, others may live out of the state or not as close as I would like them to, most of all, I know I have great people in my life in small quantities.

That's why I don't understand certain people with thousands of people in their network. Unless they are modestly famous (as a "for instance," I am a big fan of the show RuPaul's Drag Race on LOGO Network, and I am friends with one of the contestants on there - maxed out at 5,000+ friends), I wonder how people can interact or keep track of how many people are in their network. I have found it gives me personally a headache.

That's just my personality, and I know all folks are different. That's what makes the world go 'round and what makes Facebook go 'round, I suppose. However, the motto "It's Quality and not Quantity" would not exist if not for people like me or Dee and countless others I'm sure. To each their own, I suppose which leads me to...

• To Each Their Own

As I said earlier, differences make the world go 'round. Yet, people ridicule each other for differences of opinion, the way they look, even personal beliefs. I think that's a lot of crap. I have my beliefs, social and political views, and I expect you to respect mine, and in turn, I respect yours even if I disagree. Just don't cram your belief system, whatever that may be, down my throat! I consider myself educated enough that I have made informed decisions and that one wouldn't think I was ignorant.

I may disagree with you from time to time, but it doesn't mean I don't respect you. I may even admire you. However, I've had people delete me for really childish reasons. But to each their own. If I was that disposable, chances are they weren't as "close" as I thought they were anyway.

• People Are Easily Amused

I attended a social media event a few months ago, and a technology expert was a keynote speaker to the extent that there was a moderator, and he answered questions honestly. One of the questions asked was about why videos go viral (as an example, but you can apply that to any social medium).

I never watched an episode of American Idol, but I know all about William Hung and that Pants-on-the-ground dude. A guy on Twitter tweeted "Seriously, dude, what the hell is Myrrh?" and it gets a million retweets. Trust me, you had to be there (I'm still laughing about that one) And don't get me started on the YouTube sensation, Antoine Dotson. Think about how slang terms take over the vernacular.

My point is -- it doesn't take much to make us laugh as a society. We may have different types of humor, but the fact is, we all gravitate towards something that makes us laugh together as a community.

Laughter, and love, do indeed make the world go 'round!

• Selling the Drama

On the flip side, Facebook is a breeding ground for drama. Some days, I swear, its activity could rival The Young and the Restless. Perhaps in the Facebook community, we could call it All My Friends or One LIKE to Live or better yet...The Days of our Lives. After all, like the sands of time, drama will permeate any atmosphere, like it or not.

Conversely, drama makes the world go backwards. Yet, some people thrive on it, and that's their journey. In my estimation, though, they are not highly evolved. Go figure.

• Do unto others...
  

I am a spiritual but not religious person. I know in this life, I have to look out for me, but the universe is much bigger than anything I am ever a part of. I have respect for all living things, human, animal, plant. However, what I do believe is transcendent is energy. Perhaps Dave Barry said it best when he said, "A person who is nice to you, but rude to the waiter, is NOT a nice person."

That is a great saying and it carries so much on so many levels. If you dislike someone on Facebook, and you don't know them personally, just hit the delete button. Simple as that. If you know someone personally and they piss you off, talk to them. Chances are, this person might not be as nice to the waiter or to you as you may think.

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Did I really need Facebook to teach me these lessons? Not really. I consider myself an observer, a voyeur, of human nature, and I could have figured out these bullet points on my own just by observing folks at a local Starbucks, office setting, or even in a public park. We probably see it even in ourselves.

Facebook has made the individual and the collective more powerful than ever, with access to all this human capital. Most of all, it has made the world closer than ever. With great power comes great responsibility. Just keep that iota of information in mind when you are on Facebook next. And take to heart the life lessons we learn each day by logging in.

Take care of yourselves. And each other.