Overused Word: Narcissist?

You've probably heard the myth of Narcissus played over and over. It's one of the most recognizable stories in Greek mythology, the one where Narcissus fell in love with the reflection in water. The irony was that he didn't realize it was an image, was afraid to leave the beauty of the image, and subsequently wasted away, dying of thirst as a result.

The lesson taught is that to be so self-consumed can result in "death," not so much the physical finality of death but that it can drive others away and be tough to live up to not only your own expectations, but to others around you.

Usually, when someone is called a "narcissist," it's...well...not considered "complimentary," in my opinion anyway. And yet, the very notion of what we do as individuals straddles a fine line between narcissism and just plain self-promotion. How does one balance that? Or is there one?

With the advent of social media tools, there is certainly a fine line of self-promotion versus interaction. To me, though, it's not so much an area of black and white, but more of that proverbial grey-shaded area where two circles interject. Bruce Reyes-Chen from the San Francisco Chronicle suggests that while social media puts the whole narcissism thing out there, he could argue that all communication (even old-fashioned phone calls, email marketing, face-to-face meetings even) can theoretically promote some agenda, right? I know when I meet people for marketing one-on-ones, there's always an underlying agenda there. We may generally enjoy each others company, have great conversation but at the end of the day, there's a deal that's brokered. Isn't that, by nature, a narcissistic promotion of one's agenda? I guess if one considers "putting food on the table" narcissistic, then perhaps. Reyes-Chow even suggests that the community in electronic forms is no different than say, family gatherings, religious houses and even knitting groups. However, he also writes, there is a fine line about the ugliness of a look-at-me-me-me community.

Narcissism is a topic du jour. The New York Times suggested to do away with several layers of the Narcissistic Personality Disorder as a "mental disorder." The article suggests that with the advent of so many people coming into the same forums as truly "narcissistic" personalities are, that their biggest fear might be realized: they will be ignored.

In response to this article, Jason Brand from the Huffington Post suggests that to do away with the term "Narcisstic Personality Disorder" in this day and age is bad timing especially in the Digital Age. I suppose that the idea behind that thinking is that for years and years, we've been promoting "self interest" and self "health and wellness" by thinking highly of ourselves, in a better effort to treat others around us. Brand suggests there is a healthy amount of narcissism out there, but it's tough to figure out. To me, the idea of it is contradictory. We've been promoting a high-level of self-esteem and to have a high opinion of ourselves. The idea was to carry that feeling over to others, to gain a better understanding of fellow man.

However, the biggest argument to me, in removing this title, is that deeply rooted Narcissistic Personality Disorder lacks empathy, is cruel and snarky but to be simply "self-absorbed" -- a very notion promoted by Millennial parents world over -- does not qualify one to be "Narcisstic." I can see the dilemma by wanting to put a label on it...but are Narcissists truly a danger to their community? They may be annoying, but then again, I'm sure we've all been guilty of it at times ourselves.

Meghan Daum at the Los Angeles Times wanted to take it a step further, and even said that the term "narcissist" itself is overused, and therefore rendered meaningless.

I'm going to have to go ahead and sort-of disagree there. See, I say "so-and-so is a narcissist" or "that's some narcissistic behavior" (which believe me, I do tend to interject that in a conversation every now and then), chances are...you're gonna know what I'm talking about. And I can emphasize it's not a good thing.

If someone is going to try to put food on the table, make their mark in some kind of community...what would rather have: a person who is negative about themselves who brings everyone down? Or someone who might have a high opinion of themselves and tries to engage people?

Maybe they can be sad, or perhaps a little out of touch. But trust me, Daum is off the mark here: narcissism, the term, isn't all that lost in today's Digital generation. You're gonna know what someone means when they say it. End of story!