A recent study revealed that approximately 40 million people changed their Facebook status from "In a Relationship" to "Single" in 2010. Only about 28 million changed their status from "Single" to "In a Relationship". It may have nothing to do with Facebook, but I believe that some networking sites (and I use the word "networking" loosely) make it so much easier for people to have inappropriate relationships outside their "committed" ones. The personal exposure is unlimited and to some, a real ego-booster -- making it easy to stray.
Girls love the attention they get from guys when they post sexy pics of themselves, and guys love looking at them. It's one thing to be attractive and receive compliments, but when the lines are crossed, you tend to back away from those habits -- and the people who encourage them. After a while, you realize that the negativity you generate far outweighs the compliments.
I sincerely believe that just like Myspace, Facebook is no longer what it was intended to be. At least for me it isn't. I guess to some degree, just like life, Facebook is what you make of it. You can't get more out of it than what you put into it. However, and I could be wrong but, despite its recently announced $50 billion worth, and all the privacy and security settings and features that come with it, I think Facebook is going to see some big changes in 2011, and I don't mean on their part.
More and more Facebook users will be cautious when it comes to putting their lives out there for everyone to see. In other words, private will become the new social. They will start by choosing their friends and their statuses more carefully. Either that, or they will use the site less frequently or even shut it down totally. There are moments where, if not for my blogging, I would consider deactivating my account altogether.
So one could argue that if I feel this way then why even have Facebook at all? I've thought about it and that is definitely a valid point. However, why can't I still enjoy all that Facebook as to offer and share my life with the people that I choose to remain in touch with? Facebook can reach all of my friends at once, in one organized and convenient place. Can't do that on a cell phone.
It all comes down to one thing: What am I looking to get out of Facebook? What do I really want?
Maybe I have gotten all I am going to out of it. Maybe it has served its purpose for me. Maybe Facebook just isn't enough for me anymore. The thing is, the list of people we are "connected" to on Facebook is called "Friends". But as I scroll through my list, I wonder how many people really are "friends"? They are acquaintances, and honestly, I'm not looking for more acquaintances. The networking aspect of it is nice, but that's as far as it goes for me lately.
For some, it's a time to get rid of dead weight - those who just take up space on our news feed, whom we couldn't care less about and who don't care what we have to share either. We don't interact with these people, and if we do, there's no reciprocation. For others, it's a time to get rid of the creepers and stalkers and nosy/busy-bodies. Who needs people who only gawk at our pics, are jealous of our accomplishments or take pleasure in our pain? For others, they may just not want to see things they don't want to see. You know the old expression, what you don't know won't hurt you. And still for others, it's a time to realize who our real friends are, as opposed to just "online" friends - those we probably would never go out of our way in real life to meet and/or spend time with. Not that these people aren't nice and don't deserve a fair deal, but honestly, we can barely spare the time these days for our real friends and family.
But Dee, isn't that the beauty of Facebook? To be able to maintain relationships that you normally wouldn't be able to?
I'm sorry, but I just don't feel the need to be connected to people I don't associate with outside of Facebook. I know Facebook is supposed to help you stay connected to those people, but if I need a networking tool to help me do that, then what kind of relationship really is it that I am trying to hold on to? Look, it's nothing personal. The people I have chosen to remove myself from -- and there are many -- didn't necessarily do anything wrong. In fact, I may end up regretting some of my decisions. But this is just something I feel the need to do. Just because I "know" you, or am in your company once a year at a mutual friend's function, doesn't mean I have to be connected to you on Facebook.
All that being said, there are still going to be the people who don't care who they are friends with and what they share with them. Someone, somewhere, will learn a serious lesson the hard way, and have something they posted come back and bite them in the ass. But for now, it's the "so-what" attitude and, unfortunately, a popularity contest. I could easily have anywhere from 600-800 "friends", between former schoolmates, former co-workers, distant relatives and those I've met throughout the sports/blogging community. But I am down to literally a handful of people (and believe me, there are more I wish to delete, but some people you just can't) who I would consider a part of my real-world life, not just my online one. People I knew BEFORE Facebook, and will continue to know even after, should that time come. I don't want to have to rely on something in the virtual world, to help me live out my life in the real world. Quite honestly, that goes for texting and Kik messaging as well, but that's on a much smaller scale, and a whole other post that I am not quite ready to entertain.........
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