As women, we tend to be jealous of other women. It's not a conscious decision we make. We just are. Even if we don't want to be, we are. So we unintentionally intentionally give the wrong advice to other women. We say we like something we don't. And we say we are happy for them even if we're not. Not that this girl wouldn't have looked good in bangs (I really didn't get a good enough look at her to form an opinion), but do you honestly think ole' Barb was giving her honest opinion?
What really caught my attention was this girl's determination in getting Barb's approval. What ever happened to making your own decisions?
As women, we can insist that we don't care what other people think, and that as long as it makes us feel and look better in our own eyes, that's all the matters. But who are we kidding? Human beings thrive on the attention from and acceptance of other human beings. What good is thinking I look good at the club if not a single guy checks me out? That's just an example, but you know what I mean. This girl's dependence on Barb's opinion may be considered a fault, but the truth is, we all do care what others think.
Now, I don't know what this girl's relationship status is. But she needs to be with or find someone who likes the fact that she wants to please others. A guy who wants an independent-thinking, "I don't give a shit what other people think of me" kind of girl, won't appreciate someone like her. And all that is fine. This is just one of the many personality traits that must be compatible with your partner's.
It's not that this girl is unable to make her own decision. It's more like there is an underlying desire for acceptance, likely caused by having led a sheltered life.
But I digress...
What this girl needs to do, in my opinion, is find a platonic or gay male friend and ask him what he thinks. This guy would have absolutely no stake in the results of her new haircut and would most likely give his honest and unbiased opinion. Of course, everyone's perception is different and no one person's opinion is law. But that's where forming her own opinion comes into play. Not Barb's.
A few thoughts about friend of Barb (lol). One is, she's desperately seeking someone's approval. Second, maybe Barb is her hairdresser? LOL. Third, if I were Barb, or someone like Barb, and a friend was asking me advice about her hair, I'd ask what SHE would like to do...then I'd say do it. Only cause...hair grows back.
ReplyDeleteAt the root of it, we see that she can't make a decision, and if it goes bad or if she doesn't like it, you'll overhear her in the store again yelling at Barb for telling her to do it. You can't win!
Oh PS. One more thing. I find it massively inappropriate to have that kind of conversation or any one on one's phone in a public place. Unless someone's foot got amputated or something, I see no reason to answer it, unless you are walking to your car or something. I was at Starbucks all day today, and at one point, I realized I had to confirm an appt this weekend. I didn't want to call from there, so I had to wait. Meanwhile everyone else was making plane reservations or having phone meetings there. Sucks having manners
ReplyDelete