Organized Chaos

When I was a kid, I could guarantee that every around the holidays (where my birthday and Christmas falls conveniently together), someone would get me a day planner or organizer of some sorts.

These old dodo-like things were leather-bound, had a daily planner (where you could input your appointments) and a monthly calendar to effectively plan your life.

Even as a teenager, I had homework and places to be and things to do, I liked the rigidity of it, to plan things ahead. As I got older though, my life became predictable, boring almost. I clocked in at a 9-5 gig, my tasks didn't differentiate from one day to another. It seemed a waste of paper, trees, resources, etc to schedule anything. Especially with the advent of Microsoft Outlook and email applications that you could easily say "Hey, get on my calendar," was easier than calling ahead and trying to find a mutually convenient time to schedule something -- even a coffee! -- and deciding against it because it was too difficult.

I had to chuckle today, though, while reading the New York Times Sunday Styles section. Seems like paper calendars and day planners are fighting the extinction route, with the devotees having a tough time letting go of them even if they have a smartphone like a Blackberry or iPhone which were created for busy people like us.

Why, exactly, was I chuckling? Well, a few reasons actually. One was, I, too, had that dilemma, probably at my first "real" job, when I had a class on Time Management and they gave us the old school Franklin-Covey planners. Funny thing was, I had my own planner. To tell the truth, I'm surprised this place still exists, especially in this day and age with paper planners. I suppose there is still a market.

Anyway, my dilemma back then was the advent of Microsoft Outlook. After awhile, it didn't make a ton of sense for me to double-book, so to speak, by jotting down a meeting or a class when it pings me on my calendar. It had to though for a few reasons, namely because I didn't have a Blackberry for work at that time. When I did, it didn't make a ton of sense then.

The other thing I chuckled at was something I noticed the other day. I had to fill out some paperwork, yet another thing that I rarely do anymore since mostly everything is automated or online forms. I used to care about my handwriting. Yet since I can type pretty quickly, and I am usually behind a computer or on my phone, texting away, I feel like even handwriting is going the way of the pterodactyl. Heck, even a school in Indiana is no longer teaching cursive!

So I have to think that those things are contributing to the automation of our culture, using more electronic means of scheduling such as Google calendars or iCal on your Mac or iPhone, and writing is obsolete. Whoda thought, right? But according to this article, it's a hard habit to break where people still like to manually write out their schedules. I suppose there is something admirable in jotting it down. However, I'm getting to the point where I'm cranky to even write out an appointment card at my dentist's office (You know, the one they send you a postcard to your home address a month or so prior to your scheduled visit?).

I have to admit that my iPhone has been great. I mean, we're pretty much attached at the hip, I might as well use it to my advantage besides Tweeting during a sporting event or texting my friends. I have a busy week anticipated, and I know this on Sunday night because I can bring up my calendar at home. The focal point of the article in the Times today was a woman who left her physical planner in her office one weekend, leaving her clueless as to what parties her children may have had to attend, any appointments she may have had or other life events. Which I find hilarious because we've become so regimented as a culture that we are lost without these guides. Yet, I'm just as bad, because I have to constantly look at my phone's calendar.

Sometimes, you know how you feel like you are forgetting something or you should be somewhere but can't figure it out? I know, for me, that if something doesn't show up on my iCal, that I am in the free and clear.

Yet, this organization can be chaotic at times with double-booking and having to schedule time with your family. I know, from working in investment banking, that some wives needed to make appointments to see their husbands. This is not just a rumor but a fact.

It's nice to see that there are those out there still holding on to what could be deemed as a dead technology (though paper calendars are hardly a "technology"), but sooner or later, I'd have to believe they'll come to the dark side once they've upgraded their phones.

Google+ Survival Guide

We have Google Earth, Google Reader, Gmail, Google News, Google Maps...What's next? Google Galaxy? It's looking that way. How about a social layer? Well, okay!

From the last few weeks, does this conversation sound familiar to you?

"Anyone have an invite to Google Plus?" (Editor's note: usually listed as Google +)

"Hey...can you give me an invite to Google +?" (Editor's note: usually when you find out a friend has a few)

Having an entrepreneurial spirit, and knowing several sole proprietors and small business owners in the New York City area, the question I often get, or maybe even a matter-of-fact statement is..."I don't get it." I used to get that about Twitter, but now the item I get questions on is Google Plus, or Google +.

I have to say, even I am overwhelmed with this new technology. But Google +, like many other social media, has its pitfalls yet has it's bonuses as well. Since it's been released and widely sought out, I have had time to look at it and play with it. Like many other tools, there is a learning curve, but there's also been a ton of literature out on it as well, so allow me to digest it for you.

**As a disclaimer, I took a step back from Facebook and even Twitter for a short time (but it's tougher for me to stay away from Twitter, for whatever reason) to try to understand it better and process it all.**

From a marketing standpoint, businesses have been using Twitter campaigns to get their company message out to the masses as well as interaction on Facebook pages. Google + is trying to take the guesswork and tediousness out of those elements. I mean, if you think about it, having to manage your Twitter account and Facebook page as not only a writer or casual user or even a business owner, it takes a lot of time. David All, the Chief Creative Officer at David All Group, says there are six things marketers need to know about Google +.

Two things out of this list that can hold for businesses and personal use are creating "circles" and the "hanging out" feature. Circles are similar to "groups" you can create in Facebook, but it's supposedly easier in Google +, as you can take more control over it. Another cool nifty aspect of Google + is the hang out feature, as you can actually now have video chats with up to 10 people at the same time. Since I am pretty Attention Deficit Disorder about this stuff, I doubt that would be helpful to me...but Facebook recently added a video chat layer with Skype. Apparently, this layer is synonymous with "jumping the shark." But of course, since I believe that blogging is a dying art form (as I'm blogging about it), video chats could be indeed the next wave of the future.

Mostly, a lot of what All brings up is common sense. I've said before that I took to Facebook like a fish to water since it was visually appealing and easy to use. Like Twitter, which had a larger learning curve for most people, Google + gives you what you want out of it.

All suggested that Google + may be too new to fully generate marketable content for businesses. After all, if you think about it, it took awhile for that to happen for Facebook. So for personal use, Craig Kannalley suggests starting small, by linking to friends and family first. This was easy since I am on most Gmail lists, so anyone who had my gmail account was able to reach out first. Similar to how Facebook started to work when you were able to reach out to people you didn't know but had common interests, Google + can provide the same cushion. The circles can be helpful in organizing your interests, and providing interesting content (which was another thing David All suggested, for engaging others in your circles). The common thread is to provide and filter interesting content to your masses.

The biggest piece of advice is to not treat Google + like Facebook. Christine Trapolino suggests that if you don't follow people you don't already know, you're going to get bored. How many times have I suggested that Facebook has jumped the shark by seeing the same filter of friends administering the same content or similar thoughts over and over again? I can get that from Twitter during a sporting event, as an example. And in a more digestible fashion.

While you love your friends and family, chances are, you might get a little bored with the trappings of it. Trapolino says if you engage with users you don't already know, you are getting a fresh perspective on passions or things you might not have even thought about.

Lastly, this Mashable column has it pretty much laid out in its aptly titled "Google Plus Guide" by Ben Parr. It's taken all the guesswork out of Google + and has given it to you in lay terms.

Most of all, Google + doesn't seem to be going anywhere, so I am not quick to discount it just yet. I mean, if I'm taking a Facebook vacation in order to understand it better, chances are it's going to be something I might grow to like better, kind of like when I liked Facebook better than MySpace, now Twitter in some ways better than Facebook.

Atheists Believe (In Something)

This will probably be the first and last time you might ever see me discussing my political or religious beliefs in this forum. Basically, I've had enough with thinking I need to change people's minds or whatever, because that's not my job. I think what I think, and I'm comfortable with that thought process and the steps that led me there. So I don't feel the need to discuss it unless people ask me, then I'm happy to provide whatever they want to know.

Anyway, my co-blogger Dee over at our sister blog Just Being Dee asked a question: If Not God, Then What? Now, unless she has other people in her life she considers a "sister" who is an atheist (ha ha), I believe she was referring to me and my belief system, or lack thereof as she says. Now, I'm not offended or upset by it, it's an honest question. When I started to respond to her post, though, I felt like many atheists need to spend a lot of time setting the record straight.

So I'll just throw it out there: I am a liberal, free thinking atheist. Yeah, there I said it. I'm not ashamed of it, nor do I hide this fact. This was a decision of several years of rational and critical thinking, even having been raised by a quasi-Catholic mother (though she's not practicing, and leans towards more agnostic thoughts now). The other side of my family are devout conservative Southern Baptists.

When I was in college, as many would attest I considered myself a feminist but also a conservative. People would often ask me how I could balance the two. Honestly, it wasn't hard. I was always more fiscally conservative, plus I was from New Jersey, which is a typically liberal leaning state, so even if there was a Republican governor, they supported some of my social beliefs like women's health and basic human rights. As I got older though, my social beliefs started to trump my fiscal leanings in the sense that they became more important to me. So that's why I tend to identify with more liberal thoughts now.

But my relationship with the Christian version of g-d is not that complicated, actually. I used to go to church every now and then. I read The Bible (which as an English major, I see as a fine piece of literature). I was told to believe in g-d so I did. But as I grew up, there were a lot of conflicting thoughts in my head, and even though I attended an all-women's Catholic college, I came to the conclusion that I was an atheist.

This decision was nothing to do with being flippant like "There IS NO GOD!!!" when something happens like a natural disaster or seeing suffering in the world if g-d is supposed to be "good," etc.

I consider myself a rational, critical and free thinker. Most atheists do. But when Dee questions what do they believe in, I have to chuckle because atheists do believe in something, actually very many different things.

Some atheists believe in evolution. (Editor's note: I was just told there is a faction called "naturalists," who knew?) I call it personally the "cycle of life," as all living breathing elements expire at some point. They eat things to survive, and then have to "fight it out" in nature so as not to cease to exist.

Now some folks (I'm looking at you, Christine O'Donnell) will ask "Well why aren't monkeys still evolving?" when people bring up the evolution theory. Guess what? Humans still evolve and still are. There's scientific evidence that humans are phasing out wisdom teeth in future generations. And it takes millions of years to get to that point. Plus monkeys are still evolving. It took us millions of years to get to where we are, so it will take millions of years to keep that progress.

I'm not going to say it's perfect but there's certainly more evidence pointing towards supporting a rational evolutionary process for not just humankind but animals as well. But it's just that: a theory. We don't know what came first: the chicken or the egg. But for people who point to g-d as the creator, my question is...well, who created g-d, then?

Atheists do have belief systems, they are just not theist or religious-based. For me, I believe, for lack of a better term, in the circle of life, but also in respect for other life forms. Respect for the Earth. Thinking and knowing that the world is bigger than just "me." There seems to be a faction that can't understand how we can be so comforted without having a "supreme being" way of thinking to save us. Well, I believe we have one life to live, I don't believe in the afterlife, I personally believe we are all worm food after we perish. It sounds scientific and cold, but this isn't sugar-coating, to me, what I think we all are once we leave this life.

Atheists are spiritual! I know, it can seem contradictory, but it goes towards the whole "world is bigger than me" thought process. Over at Columbus Circle, an Atheists group hands out pamphlets, and I just asked them flat out if an Atheist could also think of themselves as "spiritual." They looked taken aback, like they hadn't thought of it deeply themselves.

I chimed in and said, "You know, it depends on how you think of 'spiritual.' I'm not talking about having 'faith' but mostly to me spirituality can be part of a belief process and thinking that the world is bigger than me, having respect for all thinking, breathing life forms, etc."

Then I saw the light bulbs go off. One man told me, "I'm a vegan because I can't imagine hurting an animal or participating in that brutal industry, so I consider myself spiritual too." While I eat meat, I don't eat veal for ethical reasons. I also won't buy things as a consumer that I disagree with their practices. So that's my own version of spirituality.

I often categorize myself as "spiritual, not religious," simply because I don't want to upset my family members who are all deeply Christian based. But the fact is, you can be a good person and have respect for all breathing life forms and have a belief system, even if it isn't in the "biblical sense." And yes, that term was intentional.

More wars have been started as a result of religion and lack of respect for other belief systems. This is has been proved countless amounts of time. I'm not even talking about wars with other countries, but even wars within ourselves. Now, I know that this is a blanket statement, and I'm certainly not saying that ALL religions are like that. But I love how a Christian-based thought process will call out another religion for being "extremist" when there are plenty of extremists in Christianity too. It goes both ways.

As an atheist, I respect human rights, especially those who want religious freedom, as an example. I know, it sounds contradictory, but as I said above, it's not up to me to try to change people's minds. There's a lot of circular reasoning there and often defers to a g-d no one has seen. That's great for you, but for me, I've come to the conclusion that religion has done more harm than good.

But when it has to determine a war or killing others simply in the name of g-d is what I don't get. I mean, isn't g-d supposed to be an omnipresent peaceful being? Yet, there is a natural selection (for lack of a better term) for humans to engage in aggression. At the same time, we'll hear about holy wars.

To this atheist (and many others), it's a foregone conclusion that some religions' imaginary friends have caused more harm than good. And trust me -- it's not just outside us, our country has been just as bad with that historically. Even now, my favorite pastor Fred Phelps spends more time spreading around messages of hate and disgust, while being a "Christian." Most Christians I know don't waste their time worrying about marriage equality or telling people they are going to burn in Hell because they disapprove of their lives. But this guy does with a huge platform. Atheists are generally accepting of everyone...just not hateful people.

Lastly, Atheists are scientists. I think that's sort of funny to describe me as one, because I sucked at math and science as a student. But it's the only way to discuss rational thinking that comes to a conclusion. Charles Darwin constructed a theory of evolution. It's stood a test of time, although like many theories it has a lot of open ends and questions. But for the most part, it's answered many questions.

Atheists are good people! It blows my mind how many people think if you are an atheist, you are automatically a goth-music loving, vampire-looking, devil-worshiping freak. Uh, no! (Well, except the goth music part. I do love goth). I'm probably one of the most normal, down-to-earth people you would ever meet with a rational thought process who can see the bigger picture. We help old ladies cross the street, we check on our elderly neighbors in heat waves, we give up our seats on the bus or train to pregnant ladies or disabled folks. We're not all heathens. As long as we don't discuss religion, I'm sure we'll have more in common than you think...

So, Dee, I know this was a long answer to your simple question, but I feel like I need to set the record straight about how I came to this conclusion about my life. I'm very comfortable with this, and I didn't write this to be flippant or offend anyone. I just hope that you can embrace my way of thinking with respect, as I respect yours and others!

Unplug & Reconnect: The Challenge

Put the phone down. Get off the computer. Stop looking at your blackberry.

As the "better half" in a relationship (well, that's how my husband refers to me), there's always a period of disconnect when he needs to be on the computer, or I am on my phone. Heck, I know that when we go out to dinner or go watch a baseball game somewhere, I am constantly checking updates on my phone.

I could easily be TALKING to him. I could listen to his concerns or just hear what's going on his head. Well, my husband isn't much of a talker, but that's besides the point. The point is, he could be saying something to me, and I'll be going through the motions and checking my Twitter feed or checking into Foursquare when we go into an establishment.

So this should set up the story line where as a society we are more "connected" than ever, but then when it comes to our deeply personal relationships, we may be further away on some marks conversely. As an example, I conduct a lot of personal affairs on my iPhone and it was recently stolen. I had to replace it, but it was stressful that I would have my personal information out there for someone to see if they were able to hack into my phone.

And on the other hand, those of us who are super highly connected to our jobs rarely have a day off. While technology has made some task-oriented roles "easier," the amount of stress it has added to our lives is tenfold, twentyfold, I would even guess.

The fact is, even on our days off when we are supposed to be relaxing, there's always something to be connected to and it's rarely a personal relationship. In fact, it's mostly our personal relationships that get hurt as a result of this connectivity.

Enter Unplug & Reconnect, an initiative to (as their website states) "help us find a balance between our technology-laden, multitasking selves and our creative, emotional and spiritual needs — to benefit from one while sustaining the other." Now, I will admit that it's a bit ironic to launch an initiative to break away from your technology habits and have a supporting Facebook and Twitter account to go along with it! But as U&R's (in the "short hand") mission statement suggests, it isn't saying to break away from technology entirely, just take a break from it. Take a break, reconnect with your family, loved-ones, and friends, and not depend on technology so much. It causes a buffer, and there's a certain disconnect with having it around, even if you are using it to connect with family and friends.

It sounds easy, right? Yet, when I bring up an idea of doing a technology "cleanse" for a bit, I get a lot of jokes about "Oh, I don't think I can do that!" I'm not saying it will be easy, but it will cause you think outside of the box for building existing relationships, and making them stronger, then technology can balance out the rest.

My husband probably won't like that I'm saying this, but I'm willing to take the plunge and disconnect or rather "Unplug" from technology. The irony is, my husband and I met through social media, and we both blog. For both of us to truly unplug from it all, it will be a challenge! But then again, we did an elimination diet back in January when we eschewed dairy, wheat, gluten, soy, shellfish, caffeine, nuts, sugar and basically anything fun for three weeks. I was DYING by about week two, he took to it like a fish to water. Perhaps I will be the one with the bigger technology withdrawal problem!

It's not deprivation, either one of those detoxes whether it's dietary or technology-driven, but rather has you build on your strength from within and not disconnect emotionally or physically.

Are you up for the challenge? Take a look at U&R's blog post on Managing Stress (calling it an addiction, even!). I'm hoping to take a look into decommissioning my technology addiction for at least a weekend, especially when I do this food detox again, and plan a full report when I return!