Unplug & Reconnect: The Challenge

Put the phone down. Get off the computer. Stop looking at your blackberry.

As the "better half" in a relationship (well, that's how my husband refers to me), there's always a period of disconnect when he needs to be on the computer, or I am on my phone. Heck, I know that when we go out to dinner or go watch a baseball game somewhere, I am constantly checking updates on my phone.

I could easily be TALKING to him. I could listen to his concerns or just hear what's going on his head. Well, my husband isn't much of a talker, but that's besides the point. The point is, he could be saying something to me, and I'll be going through the motions and checking my Twitter feed or checking into Foursquare when we go into an establishment.

So this should set up the story line where as a society we are more "connected" than ever, but then when it comes to our deeply personal relationships, we may be further away on some marks conversely. As an example, I conduct a lot of personal affairs on my iPhone and it was recently stolen. I had to replace it, but it was stressful that I would have my personal information out there for someone to see if they were able to hack into my phone.

And on the other hand, those of us who are super highly connected to our jobs rarely have a day off. While technology has made some task-oriented roles "easier," the amount of stress it has added to our lives is tenfold, twentyfold, I would even guess.

The fact is, even on our days off when we are supposed to be relaxing, there's always something to be connected to and it's rarely a personal relationship. In fact, it's mostly our personal relationships that get hurt as a result of this connectivity.

Enter Unplug & Reconnect, an initiative to (as their website states) "help us find a balance between our technology-laden, multitasking selves and our creative, emotional and spiritual needs — to benefit from one while sustaining the other." Now, I will admit that it's a bit ironic to launch an initiative to break away from your technology habits and have a supporting Facebook and Twitter account to go along with it! But as U&R's (in the "short hand") mission statement suggests, it isn't saying to break away from technology entirely, just take a break from it. Take a break, reconnect with your family, loved-ones, and friends, and not depend on technology so much. It causes a buffer, and there's a certain disconnect with having it around, even if you are using it to connect with family and friends.

It sounds easy, right? Yet, when I bring up an idea of doing a technology "cleanse" for a bit, I get a lot of jokes about "Oh, I don't think I can do that!" I'm not saying it will be easy, but it will cause you think outside of the box for building existing relationships, and making them stronger, then technology can balance out the rest.

My husband probably won't like that I'm saying this, but I'm willing to take the plunge and disconnect or rather "Unplug" from technology. The irony is, my husband and I met through social media, and we both blog. For both of us to truly unplug from it all, it will be a challenge! But then again, we did an elimination diet back in January when we eschewed dairy, wheat, gluten, soy, shellfish, caffeine, nuts, sugar and basically anything fun for three weeks. I was DYING by about week two, he took to it like a fish to water. Perhaps I will be the one with the bigger technology withdrawal problem!

It's not deprivation, either one of those detoxes whether it's dietary or technology-driven, but rather has you build on your strength from within and not disconnect emotionally or physically.

Are you up for the challenge? Take a look at U&R's blog post on Managing Stress (calling it an addiction, even!). I'm hoping to take a look into decommissioning my technology addiction for at least a weekend, especially when I do this food detox again, and plan a full report when I return!

Life: Unplugged

I recently joined a micro-blogging/shared interest network called Tumblr. One of the items to interact with the users on this platform is to open yourself up for questions; i.e., what is your favorite food, etc? The question I was asked was "What is your favorite inanimate object?"

To which I replied, "Does my iPhone count?"

I need my iPhone at the ready at all times. For everything! I have my email, my address book, my GPS for when I drive, different apps including Fandango and oh yeah, my phone...Now apparently, when I refill my Starbucks card, I can use the damn phone to not only refill the card, but use as a debit card to purchase my lattes as well. What a world!

The convenience of it is great as I can transfer money from my checking account to my credit card app in one fell swoop, just so I don't get hit with a late fee. Too lazy to hit the ATM the night before? No problem! I can simply link my Starbucks account to refill, and swing my phone over the register to pay for breakfast. Does this take away from the personal experience though of customer service and most importantly, human-to-human interaction?

Years ago, a common complaint would be if you called a customer service hotline (operative word being "service"), it would take forever to reach a human. It was fodder for stand-up comedians the world over. And nowadays, we seem to take the human interaction, or lack thereof, to another level, by adding more apps to our phones to make a simple transaction even simpler by making it not only "express" but "super-duper express."

I can't say that I have a problem with it per se, but I do have a problem with the lack of person-to-person interaction. I guess I was one of those old school "people persons" who would take pride in helping a person find what they needed or talk to them. Back in the day, you could go into your local hardware store, talk to the owner, get what you needed "on credit" and pay when you felt like it. Fuggedaboutit nowadays. You go to Home Depot, you pick up your supplies, go to the "self-service checkout counter," use your Home Depot credit card and then leave with nary a word spoken to personnel (unless, of course, you need to get items that require assistance from their experts).

Don't get me wrong. I am not wistful for days of yore, in fact, I embrace these new technologies. I think when the year 2000 rolled around, we expected to live like the Jetsons, with flying cars and ready-to-eat meals in a pill form so that our time wouldn't be wasted with cooking. Well, we haven't gotten that far...but we have gotten to a point where the most mundane of tasks such as paying bills have been automated to a point that we don't even need to think about it.

But that's not to say that being totally plugged or addicted to our apps or smartphones or even our social networks aren't being a cautionary tale. Sherry Turkle, a professor of social studies at MIT, has written a book called Alone Together that had a review at Fast Company recently. The title in and of itself fascinated me as well as provides a paradoxical situation. The world is brought closer together, but in some areas we still are so far apart.

I have often said that social media has opened doors for many different things for me, personally. I feel like my relationships have gotten better as a result. However, it's not that I don't take those things in stride. I have "connections" and I have "friends." There is a big difference. Turkle takes this to the next level and warns that she doesn't disparage social networking, but she puts "these technologies in their place." She goes on to warn, however, about being too explicitly connected to these social networks:

"...even though you're alone, you get into this situation where you're continually looking for your next message, and to have a sense of approval and validation. You're alone but looking for approval as though you were together--the little red light going off on the BlackBerry to see if you have somebody's validation. I make a statement in the book, that if you don't learn how to be alone, you'll always be lonely, that loneliness is failed solitude. We're raising a generation that has grown up with constant connection, and only knows how to be lonely when not connected. This capacity for generative solitude is very important for the creative process, but if you grow up thinking it's your right and due to be tweeted and retweeted, to have thumbs up on Facebook...we're losing a capacity for autonomy both intellectual and emotional."

It's more than the next generation of millennials or the generation after that is to be warned of this notion but even my generation and the generation prior, because we are getting sucked into this almost antithetical lifestyle of being truly connected, but having a disconnect at the same time of needing that validation. If it doesn't happen in our face, then perhaps we shake it off. We may take it personally if someone doesn't take our friend request or "recommendation." This stuff never bothered in face-to-face contact, as I could handle rejection. Being so connected, it's hard not to take stuff personally. It's just another level in the interaction of human quality.

It seems like Turkle and CoopDeeVille are not the only people pondering these questions. Another book that was published by a woman who disconnected her family from their devices, including smart phones, computers, television, video games, the whole nine called The Winter of our Disconnect serves as a primitive form of the blog in chronicling this. It wasn't just her children, she conducted this "Experiment" as she called it herself (even admitting to sleeping with her iPhone, which I have not done yet, but I have brought it into the bathroom with me on occasion).

I have to say that it would be hard for me to totally disconnect. It's one thing that I have to use a computer to work. I guess that could be a dispensation since everyone is "wired" in the office setting. On the other hand, Susan Maushart (the author) said one of her children for homework and research purposes went to (*shock!* *gasp!*) the LIBRARY. Wait a minute...you mean, people still use those? Guess they do serve a purpose somehow. But the topic fascinated me. Could I do that?

Maushart went on to say that "The Experiment" was "relinquishing the ostrichlike delusion that burying my head in information and entertainment from home was just as good as actually being there." I thought that was interesting. It called into question strengthening the relationships in reality and not be as plugged as we are. What a concept.

So as I reach for my phone to check into Foursquare and to pay for my Starbucks skinny vanilla latte while listening to U2 on my iPod, perhaps I should at least say hello to the cashier who is nice enough to ring me up. After all, I wouldn't want to seem disengaged or anything.