Party of One

I attended a matinee on Sunday morning, and noticed an interesting trend.  While there were plenty of "couples" in the theater, I saw plenty of people by themselves.  I was one of those people.

Movies are "quiet" time, and I always wondered why it was essential to attend a movie in pairs.  When you're teenagers, I can see.  Basically that's a cheap, legal date...it's not like you're going to go to a bar when you're 15 years old.  But when you're an adult, why is it so taboo to attend the movies by yourself?

I can tell you right now that I've dragged my husband to enough movies that he's hated or really aren't his "thing" to know that I'd rather go by myself than with him.  Nothing against my husband; we just have different movie tastes (ask me how I feel about "slasher" movies).  Is it a perception thing?  "Aww, poor lady, sitting in the theater by herself."  I looked around and actually felt that the number of people sitting in singular seats was very empowering.  I'm an only child, so I can handle alone time better.  And you can't talk in a movie, so what's the necessity? 

I noticed a trend that people are not afraid to do things by themselves, especially in a city environment.  I see people dining by themselves frequently.  There's plenty of opportunity to do so, by sitting and ordering at a bar or a diner counter.  I do that a lot, especially when my husband and I have different interests on the weekend. 

Yet, I have to ask is if it's the picture of a larger trend.  Carrie Bradshaw had some defining moments on Sex and the City, when she had a "date with the city," and when a guy she was interested in started to put it down, she said, no one messes with my boyfriend. 

Later, when a friend she always came through for on wedding, baby and gift registries didn't come through for her when Carrie's Manolos were stolen at a party where shoes were left at the front door, she announced that she was getting married...to HERSELF!  And was registered at Manolo Blahnik for her marriage. 

The summary of the episodes was that Carrie, in her quest for the perfect relationship with a significant other, found that her most important relationship was with herself.  And if you find someone who loves the you YOU love, then that's fabulous, she tells her audience. 

The larger picture is that highly evolved people can have relationships with people, but can also be totally comfortable doing activities by themselves without any fear of being perceived as "weird."  I went on vacation by myself in 2009, to do a West Coast baseball trip.  I went because no one wanted to commit.  And never at any time did I feel lonely.  I met some really wonderful people out there.  But I was dependent on myself for many things, and mostly, the fun of it.  I was completely cool with it.

My point is that the next time you are afraid to do something that is seen as a "couples" or "friends" activity by yourself, overcome your fears.  There's nothing wrong with attending a movie by yourself.  Working on your self-relationship can help you be a better partner in mutual relationships.