Things Dr. Roman Taught Me

Being an opinionated, intelligent and articulate woman, even in this day and age, is not something that's encouraged. I have a feeling that a lot of this is due to generational shifts where it was presumed that women had a place and a slot to belong to in society.

I suppose that some people didn’t get the memo that the Constitution was actually amended once upon a time to protect the rights of women. But I digress.

I went to an all-women’s college, and the underlying theme of feminism was prominent along with leadership roles of women. Around the time I started, there was a study that identified a weakness of girls in math and sciences, and that boys were typically pushed to go into those careers. I thought it was hogwash, but then again, I was in an all-women’s college. To me, there was no question of who was a leader. We were encouraged to speak up and debate and have it be healthy and energizing and supportive as well. As with human nature, it didn’t always go like that, but I did manage to enter the work force as a confident young woman who was not afraid to speak up or keep up with the boys (which I later did see first-hand in investment banking, but I’ll get to that later).

Dr. Roman was one of my English literature professors, and a common theme in many of the works she chose were women-focused, such as reading Charlotte Bronte, the Odyssey but focusing on Penelope’s role while Odysseus was out nailing the sirens while on the open seas, and having a better understanding of mythology in popular culture. Yet, I’ll never forget when a young woman in class made sort of a bitter comment about feminism, and said, “I don’t know what woman had the idea to open her big mouth. But I would have been perfectly happy staying at home and taking care of the house.”

To which Dr. Roman looked at all of us, shook her head solemnly and said, “Oh no.” The response got a laugh from the classroom. She told us that feminism wasn’t just about staying at home or working full-time or choosing a career over family or vice versa (though again, I will point out, I’ve seen that happen in the working world). No, she told us, feminism was that women could be whatever or whoever they wanted to be. So contrary to popular belief, if a woman wanted to be a stay-at-home mom, or wanted to have an outside career, she did not need to be penalized for it by other women. In fact, feminism made that choice possible.

I never forgot that.

Yet, I see the struggle first-hand with women against women, especially in social media settings. It’s made people more vocal with a larger soapbox from which to preach, but also has an underlying notion of negativity and even violence infiltrating these threads.

I think about how Dr. Roman defined feminism, and it’s something I hold to a high standard of how I conduct myself. Yes, it makes me angry when I see a perfectly able woman go on maternity leave, and then come back to find her job chopped up between three analysts, just so in a few months they can let her go. It makes me upset when a woman with an opinion who may be running for public office is accused of being “too male,” and yet when she displays emotion, “isn’t ‘fit’ to be President” or whatever office she may be running for. It’s a double-standard, and yet, most women do the same things themselves within their own population.

I’ve had my own problems with differing views of feminism, those contrary to my own. I guess when I see a woman working at H00ters or Hawaiian Tropic Zone, I see two things going on: one is that these women are adults and if they want to flaunt themselves to make a buck, more power to them. The other is that they are kind of exploiting men with bank accounts who spend a lot of money objectifying women. Yes, I could get upset about the objectification. But on the flip side, if these women were not drugged or exploited to do get jobs there, I see no problem with it. Plus, these places also hire men, so it’s not an issue to me.

Yet, I’ve been called out for not being “feminist enough” for simply disagreeing with viewpoints of what feminism could and should be. I’ve been harassed because I pick and choose my battles as far as women’s rights go. In an ideal world, of course I’d like to see women on an identical pay scale for men in equivalent roles and no glass ceilings. I’d also like to see women not be penalized by their own gender and the male aristocracy for taking time off to be with their families or wanting to balance their work-family. I don’t see anyone calling men out for taking time to be with their children when they are little.

It’s only become more prominent with social media tools such as Twitter. In fact, I was recently chastised by someone I considered a very good friend of mine outside of these forums, because she felt I was not taking her side enough in little Twitter wars. Yet, someone who is a proponent of free speech is penalizing me for simply not keeping up with whoever is her enemy this week, I felt this was a cop out for simply feeling under attack. I also have it on authority that she took this behavior with other mutual friends. Let me just state that this was not an isolated incident. It was cold and calculated.

It’s just Twitter, sure, but at the end of the day, if this person is cognizant of my social interactions in an open forum that’s free for anyone, chances are they are disapproving of my social interactions outside of them as well. And if I need to censor myself for fear of being attacked by this person, that kind of takes the fun out of these forums, right?

But at the root of it, I feel as though women are under attack by other women and if they are not immediately on their side, it’s seen as a liability. It’s only then I take solace in the words that Dr. Roman spoke about that day in class, when she enlightened by saying that women could be or do anything they wanted to be.

And isn’t that the very definition of feminism?

Who Killed The Radio Star?

Kinda like "Who shot J.R.?" but not as important.

As MTV celebrates its 30th Anniversary, I thought it would be fun to take a look at how video killed -- or at least changed -- the way we enjoy music.

MTV, formerly an initialism of Music Television, is an American network based in New York City that launched on August 1, 1981.  At one time, MTV had a profound impact on the music industry and pop culture.  Slogans such as "I want my MTV" and "MTV is here" became embedded in public thought, the concept of the VJ (video jockey) was popularized, the idea of a dedicated video-based outlet for music was introduced, and both artists and fans found a central location for concert events, news and promotion.  

On August 1, 1981, at 12:01 a.m., MTV launched with the words "Ladies and gentlemen, rock and roll,"spoken by John Lack, and played over footage of the first Space Shuttle launch countdown of Columbia (which took place earlier that year) and of the launch of Apollo 11. Those words were immediately followed by the original MTV theme song, a crunching classical tune composed by Jonathan Elias and John Petersen, playing over photos of the Apollo 11 moon landing, with the flag featuring MTV's logo changing various colors, textures, and designs. MTV producers Alan Goodman and Fred Seibert used this public domain footage as a conceit, associating MTV with the most famous moment in world television history.

The very first video that aired on MTV was "Video Killed the Radio Star" by The Buggles.  But if you think about it, isn't the more modern technology what really killed it?  I'm talking, turn-of-the-century stuff here?

Remember folks, when MTV first swept the nation with their all music, all the time idea, there was no internet. There were no iPods, no cell phones, and no tablets.  If you wanted music videos on demand, you had to sit in front of your television and watch what MTV showed, not necessarily the ones you wanted to see.  

But that doesn't mean that radio was dead then. If you wanted music in the car, at the office, at the beach, etc., you still needed your radio.  And it was like that for a good many years until fairly recent times. Just like advances in outer space have occurred, so too have advances in music and our access to it.

I want to make clear the fact that I was never an MTV junkie to begin with.  I love music, I didn't need to see the videos as much as I needed to hear the songs.  Not that I am not a visual person or didn't appreciate the mini epic movies that a lot of videos ended up becoming. I had friends who ran the channel 24/7 but I just never got into it.  So why would I start now?

All the reality and behind-the-music shows that air now are simply because MTV has no other choice.  In order for the network to stay afloat, they need to adapt to the changes in society and give people what they want, today. We can get music anywhere, any time. But for whatever reason, we can't get enough Jersey Shore. (I have never seen a single episode, or a single minute of an episode.)  

Despite the return of music video programming to MTV in March 2009 as AMTV -- an early morning block of music videos that aired from 3 a.m. to 9 a.m. on most weekdays -- MTV is not and has not been "music" television for a while.  And when people say they want their MTV, it doesn't mean what it used to.

Be Careful What You Wish For

Having a huge background in customer service related jobs (I used to be one of those "courtesy desk" gals at a supermarket when I was in college, and was a client service rep at one of my first jobs out of college), I do believe in the old adage "The Customer Is Always Right" but within reason.

I hate to admit it but when I was working the courtesy desk, if I had a "repeat offender" (a multiple-time complaining customer who just wanted to whine about the quality of the air she breathed, and would leave chicken in her car overnight expecting a refund for HER mistake), I would be less apt to help them than say, someone who was genuine in what they were asking -- not that they expected it per se, but it was a legit gripe like getting twice billed for the same thing.

For me, though, when I wronged as a consumer, look out! I take to the airwaves for anything. I am firm believer in the written word -- that is, in the right hands of course. There was one year for instance where I got a lot of free stuff simply for airing my grievances in letter form to CEOs of companies. Now, I know that the CEO of the chain of Best Westerns isn't going to care much about little me...but if a letter shows up on his desk, I like to think that the executive office takes it seriously and escalates it to the proper people. I've gotten free weeks at hotels, free flights, free months on my phone bill, gift cards, etc, simply by complaining about what I feel to be legit gripes to people who can take action.

I guess what companies do believe in is that the squeaky wheel will certainly get the grease.

Here's the thing though: when I would write my letters, I would take the high road, not implying I would take my business elsewhere, but that I would like to continue to do business with them, as it would hurt me more to not conduct business there.

Today, though, there are multiple channels to voice one's complaints, and not to mention one...the millions.

A few weeks ago, the mail-order online video rental company, Netflix, had some very bad PR when they announced they would be raising prices for their service. To be honest, I have never used the Netflix service. I can understand though the impact of raising prices to what their customer base may deem as unreasonable. Especially since there are many different ways to get these items for free or streaming for a fraction of the cost.

Yet, their vocal customers took to social media tools like Twitter to express their discontent. The vocal mob, though, didn't do much to distract Netflix. In fact, they are not coming out contrite saying, "OK OK we'll lower our prices, just come back." The fact is, Netflix must think they have a loyal enough customer base to justify raising prices.

Then I started to think about times I've publicly flogged a place I've patronized, only to get a response from their marketing department or customer service reps. It's funny, because they not only care but they do want to ensure the happiness of their base.

I once flogged McDonald's for forgetting to put sausage in my husband's sausage biscuit. Yeah, that happened. I then got upset at a Dunkin Donuts I was at because they kept screwing up my simple coffee order, and their marketing folks wanted to make sure everything was all right. I was making fun of a ferry ride I was on, saying their boats had not been updated since 2001 yet I was paying like quadruple the price I did back then. And they asked me if there was something that happened and how they could change it for the future (unless they drop their prices and/or get newer boats, I don't see them taking my advice to heart).

Mostly, though my newest outlet to use my voice as a means of consumer change is on Yelp. I know it's been around for awhile, but I just came around on it recently. Yes, I was slamming a service that I really wanted to change, and they never reached out to me. Yet, I gave not-so-favorable reviews and have gotten gift cards and an offer of free drinks for my "experience" at another place (though truth be told, I didn't leave THAT bad of a review, but I guess they want to make sure they get repeat customers).

I guess my point is, with the two-way feedback that is social media, consumer complaints are not only heard instantaneously practically, but they are dealt with so long as they are reasonable complaints so that they can get a favorable review.

And here I was, thinking that true customer service has gone out the window. True, we may get that gum-snapping bored-looking kid behind the counter who would rather play video games than help us...but the highers-up may be hearing something...and that might promote change on the front-end.